Friday, August 7, 2009

Time Flies...




I can't believe that summer is almost over. I have always heard that the older you get the faster time goes by, and now I know it is SO true. One thing is true, I have had a whirlwind of a summer. Although I will try not to go into personal details, I will hurry through this for the privacy of others and because I keep having to backspace due to sleepy eyes. God has shown me more things in these past two weeks than I have been shown in a while. Number one is how precious time is and how the blessings God gives us come in many forms: salvation, children, and friendships. I've seen and felt pain for a friend that I never thought I could feel before, I've let the house stay dirty (despite the complaining husband) and played with my children, I have tried to watch how I think and how I speak (which is a slow progression), I've learned the power of prayer and what it is like when what you want to pray won't come out so you have to just sit there and cry before God and have faith that He knows all things, which He does. I have dreamed of heaven more in the past week and daydreamed about the day that we will stand before the Lord, and quite frankly I fear it for those of us who know better (especially our nation) but think how awesome it is to enter heaven through a child's eyes, but most of all, I have learned LOVE, not just God's love, but the love of my friends and the love I have for my friends. This is about to get personal but bear with me and I'll try to hurry through and make my point. It's so amazing how one year ago I started e-mailing a friend from school, or actually she e-mailed me. We would e-mail each other every day for what seems like more than half of the day, even if it was just "are you there", then came another friend into the crew and what do you know, God formed the e-mail trio. We e-mail each other about EVERYTHING...and I mean EVERYTHING...and the best part is we know the personal stuff doesn't go beyond that computer screen and our eyes. We talk daily on e-mail except on weekends, and even then we may get on Facebook to catch up with each other. God had that planned out before that first e-mail was sent. He knew that this very second we would need to be there for each other, whether today it is me, or the next day it is one of the other ones. My point being that we talked on e-mail daily but didn't talk in person much unless we had a girl's night out. Last week God moved and four lost souls were saved, but for me, my heart was opened. Friendships that I believed couldn't exist for various reasons and mainly due to a failed friendship that lasted all of let's say age 3- age 18, that feeling that you have for a friend is different than any other. You feel so close to that person b/c you know their loves, likes, dislikes, why they married their partner in life, and even how that came about, all the way down to the exact conversation they had with their husband and children the night before. It's a love like no other...as I'm sure most of you have best friends and that is what I am describing. It's amazing how in the past year I have formed two GREAT relationships that I never would have imagined. I have always been the outspoken negative person and here I am with two people that have wonderful, positive, Godly outlooks on life to inspire me. And actually, I don't think I even realized it until last week. I didn't realize that these two girls have become my BEST FRIENDS in just this past year. When one of them isn't there for any reason I feel lost, sometimes I even find myself e-mailing their mailbox to say, "Hey, I know you are out, but I'm not and you'll get this when you get back." I have talked to them on the phone more in just this short summer than I have spoke with any "girlfriends" in a long time. It feels amazing to have someone there to support you, comfort you, be your psychologist, and even give you that extra push to keep going that day and put on a smile for your family when you really feel like crawling in a hole. I don't think I have been this open, nice, and honest to myself in a long time. (I know, honesty is something I'm good at with others, but not myself). If I was brutally honest I would say that I haven't really had any "friend" that checked on me as much as they do or that worries about my TRUE inner feelings they way they do. So anyways...I don't even think I've made my point, and I may delete this tomorrow morning, but I just had to write about how GREAT OUR GOD IS!!! He loves us and gives us friendships that will last forever, even if it is a friendship that was created out of the blue via e-mail trio. I love you girls...and Mere, Toyia and I love you so much and miss you. We have been praying for you, even when words won't come out our tears do.

LOVE YOU GIRLS!!!!
TABO